Tuesday 19 January 2010

The Lawyer Mentality

I have started wondering recently whether being a lawyer makes you grow suspicious and sceptical, always expecting the worst in people, and assuming them to be motivated only by personal greed or to have a hidden agenda. I have noticed recently that some of the lawyers I speak to seem to take this mistrustful attitude, and it made me suspect that they are trained not only to anticipate all that can go wrong, but to think the worst of the people they deal with. Or maybe it’s a natural consequence of regularly dealing with unscrupulous, bitter, ruthless and often downright criminal people. Perhaps seeing such people day in, day out, makes you naturally jaded.

I came across something similar about a year ago. I got chatting to the grandmother of one of my daughter’s classmates and learned that she and her husband, both in their seventies, were struggling to bring up their young grandchildren because their good-for-nothing son and his drug addict girlfriend had abandoned them on their doorstep when the youngest was just six weeks old. They got no help from the government apart from children benefit, and the children had never had a holiday. The grandparents have never had so much as a weekend off, and were shattered. I offered the only help I could – I said I would have all three children come to my house every Sunday afternoon to play with my children. I’d cook them a meal, and the grandparents could be guaranteed one afternoon off every week.

At first they accepted, but before that first Sunday I had a terse phone call saying they’d changed their minds because they weren’t sure they could trust me. Well, they didn’t say it in so many words, but that was what it boiled down to.

I was naturally upset. I’d tried to do something helpful, and I’d been accused of – well, I’m still not quite sure what. It took my best friend to explain that these people had obviously been through some tough times and were very protective of the children because of that. They probably hadn’t met very many good or kind people in their lives. So when I’d offered to do something good for them they had assumed I had some ulterior motive or there was something in it for me.

I am sure it is very helpful to a lawyer to be wary and sceptical. I remember when I moved house that my solicitor went to great length to warn me about possible floods, subsidence, and a myriad of other potential disasters, and I thought how cynical she seemed to be about my lovely new home (which so far, has neither flooded nor subsided) but there is a danger that this attitude could lead to a depressed and pessimistic outlook which could lead to problems outside the office.

There are good people out there who do kind and decent things just because they can. The millions of people who have contributed to the Haiti Disaster appeal are one example. LawCare volunteers are another. Our volunteers don’t offer to support people through tough times because they think they can get business out of it, or because it looks good on their CV; they genuinely care about their fellow lawyers, and they want to help those in need.

You may encounter some selfish and cruel people who care only about themselves, but there are many good people out there. If life as a lawyer is making you feel jaded and sceptical, give us a call and speak to someone nice who only wants to help.

LawCare’s free and confidential helpline is available 9-7.30 Monday-Friday, 10-4 weekends, on:
0800 279 6888 (Solicitors, Law Students and Legal Executives in England and Wales)
0800 279 6869 (Solicitors, Advocates and Law Students in Scotland, Northern Ireland and the Isle of Man)
0800 018 4299 (Barristers, Clerks and Judges in England and Wales)
1800 991801 (Solicitors in the Republic of Ireland)

Tuesday 5 January 2010

Just a Couple of Christmas Drinks

In past years we have noticed an increase in the number of calls to LawCare’s helplines related to alcohol misuse in January and February. The festive period seems to be a time when we can all eat, drink and be merry with a valid excuse, and many people who might have been only slightly worried about the amount they were drinking during the year suddenly find that when the restraints are off , they have good cause to be concerned. In the cold January light of day they look back at the excesses of Christmas, and New Year, and all the days in between, and see a disturbing pattern.
  • There may have been the usual family rows, generally caused by people who usually lead busy lives suddenly finding themselves thrown together over the holidays - but perhaps more than one was fuelled by alcohol-induced anger.
  • There may not have been enough wine or sherry to go round, leading to alarming feelings of panic at the realisation that it’s Christmas day and the shops are shut, so you can’t buy any more.
  • You missed that good Christmas film or TV special because you were drunk.
  • When colleagues ask, “How was your Christmas?” you find you can’t remember all of it.
It’s too early to say whether the trend for more alcohol calls will be true of 2010, but if you are worried about how much you drank over the Christmas period, and what it might say about your level of alcohol intake generally, do give us a call. Our helplines are free and completely confidential. We could help make it a much happier New Year.

LawCare’s free and confidential helpline is available 9-7.30 Monday-Friday, 10-4 weekends, on:
0800 279 6888 (Solicitors, Law Students and Legal Executives in England and Wales)
0800 279 6869 (Solicitors, Advocates and Law Students in Scotland, Northern Ireland and the Isle of Man)
0800 018 4299 (Barristers, Barristers Clerks and Judges in England and Wales)
1800 991801 (Solicitors in the Republic of Ireland)
1800 313145 (Barristers in the Republic of Ireland)